There’s a phrase I once heard from a cheerful woman at a farmers’ market in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada. She was selling jars of homemade chutney with names like “Cheeky Chilli” and “Proper Pickled Pear”, and when I accidentally knocked over her display (yes, me, always the kultz), she smiled and said, “Bless your troubles. They’ve brought you here.” I’ve never forgotten that. Mostly because I was mortified. But also because, dammit, she was RIGHT.
What if our troubles were blessings in disguise? Not in the toxic positivity, “Everything happens for a reason” kind of way. But in the raw, messy, “life-punched-me-in-the-face-but-I-got-up-and-dusted-myself-off” kind of way. You know, the kind that involves tears, takeaway curries, and late-night binges of Netflix with a dog curled up at your feet (Hi, Samosa).
The Time My Life Fell Apart… and Then Rebuilt Me
Let’s rewind to when I lost my family, friends, and my beloved pup, Pakora, all in one go. It was like the universe had hit “Ctrl+Alt+Delete” on my entire life. Twenty one years of marriage - POOF. Community? GONE. Support network? VANISHED. Hormones? Don’t even get me STARTED. (Early menopause and two hormonal teenage boys in the house… honestly, I deserve a bloody medal.)
And Pakora. She was with me from 8 weeks old. Losing her wasn’t just losing a pet, it was losing a child, a confidante, my little furry therapist. There were nights I sat with her empty lead in my lap, thinking, HOW THE HELL DID IT COME TO THIS?
But here’s the twist. That rubble? That mess? It became the COMPOST for the most INCREDIBLE GROWTH.
From Crumbs to Cake
I started again. I moved. I rebuilt my business, turning Henna4You into something more intentional, focusing on intimate events, art, and teaching. I created Live Love Laugh Retreats with my friend, Rachel, giving other women a space to BREATHE, to stop doom-scrolling TikTok with a glass of Pinot in hand and remember what it's like to actually rest.
And amidst the chaos, I began coaching. ME! The woman who once couldn’t find her own voice became a life and happiness coach, helping others find theirs. If that’s not a “bless your troubles” moment, I don’t know what is.
The Dopamine Detox Diaries
Remember my blog on dopamine scrolling and how our brains are basically addicted to the cheap thrills of smartphones? That little post was born out of my own late-night doom spiral, lying in bed watching videos of dogs riding skateboards, while my to-do list glared at me like an angry PE teacher.
I’d replaced actual joy; Painting, drawing, dancing in the kitchen to Beyoncé, with DIGITAL JUNK FOOD. But recognising that, and deciding to do something about it, was another turning point. I wrote that blog for all of us who reach for our phones instead of our dreams.
Dear Ex, Thanks for the Material
Now, I’m not saying you need to send your ex a fruit basket, but sometimes we need to bless even the most frustrating characters in our story. My ex-husband, for example, was as helpful during our separation as a chocolate teapot. 
And yet… if he’d been supportive, I might have stayed in that dead-end chapter a lot longer. It was his very unhelpfulness that forced me to become the fierce, free, and fabulous woman I am today. Navigation through that period was incredibly tough, especially with everything else going on. But the challenges I faced in that space pushed me to grow in ways I never expected. So while it wasn’t easy, and certainly not what I’d hoped for. There’s still a strange sort of gratitude in the GROWTH it sparked. (Still not getting a fruit basket though.)
When Your Kids Won’t Get Help
Oh, this one still stings. Watching my children struggle with their MENTAL HEALTH, refusing therapy even though they know the tools exist, it’s HEART-BREAKING. It’s the kind of pain that seeps into your bones and makes you question everything.
But even that has taught me. Taught me how to love with detachment. To offer help without SACRIFICING myself. To model what healing looks like, instead of FORCING them to heal. My troubles have given me the kind of WISDOM you don’t get from BOOKS, but from BROKEN HEARTS and BRAVE DECISIONS.
From Guilt to Grace
Selling the family home while my son was at uni, mid-pandemic, was another tough one. I carried so much GUILT for not being able to give him a safe place to land. But with hindsight, I can see it: he was LEARNING RESILIENCE. And so was I. We were both becoming who we were meant to be. And that moment of perceived failure? It was actually the start of something new, for both of us.
Creativity from Chaos
And then there’s my MANDALA COLOURING BOOK, something I first dreamed up fifteen years ago. It sat quietly in the background all this time, waiting patiently while life threw its curveballs: SEPARATION, LOSS, HORMONES, HEALING, and all the glorious MESS in between. I used to think I was PROCRASTINATING, but now I see it differently. Maybe it just needed all those EXPERIENCES, all those LESSONS, to become what it is meant to be.
The book is about about life: the layers, the symbolism, the growth that comes from sitting with the uncomfortable and turning it into something meaningful. Every page is infused with what I’ve lived through; PAIN, JOY, LOVE and LAUGHTER, and it’s finally taking shape after all these years, it’s coming to life. Not despite the troubles, but because of them. (Keep an eye out for more details).
Real Talk
Now, I’m not saying every trouble is a secret gift. Some are just rubbish. Losing a loved one, facing illness, dealing with betrayal, those aren’t wrapped in silver linings. But we can choose what we do next. We can FIND the LESSON. The GROWTH. The NEW PATH.
We can cry, scream, eat too many Jaffa Cakes… and still get up the next day and say, “Right then, life, what have you got for me now?”
Your Turn
So, here’s your invitation: look at your troubles. Not with dread or denial, but with gentle curiosity.
- Ask them what they’ve taught you.
- What they’ve forced you to change.
- What they’ve cleared space for.
WRITE your troubles a letter and then burn it, remember the blog about brain dumping? DRAW your troubles and BLESS them.
Not because they were good. But
- Because you are GOOD
- Because you SURVIVED.
- Because you’re still HERE.
- Because your STORY isn’t OVER, and you, my dear friend, are just getting STARTED.
Want more juicy real talk and resilience-building tips?
Grab a cuppa and poke around the rest of my blogs. Or better yet, come to a retreat (coming soon) and let’s BLESS our MESS together, with HENNA, HOGS, and a helluva lot of LAUGHTER.
