Happiness is one of life’s greatest emotions. It allows us to experience the world in the present moment. It lets us fully absorb the beauty of our existence. It enables us to make choices that serve us and our highest good.
But being happy is, well, incredibly difficult. It simply is not that easy to be happy. External stimuli from outside ourselves can hinder our ability to feel that happy state of mind: environments, relationships, jobs, situations, etc. Maybe you’ve just lost your job, survived a divorce, or are entering a new hormonal stage in life. These things can cloud our otherwise pleasant demeanors, and they can be incredibly taxing on our mental health overall.
If you’ve ever Googled “how to be happier” or “how to stop being depressed”, this little spot on the internet was made for you. I have been there, and I know just how debilitating it is to live without happiness.
I am here to tell you: happiness is attainable. You can find it. And true happiness begins with one small thing (happiness’ secret sauce if you will): gratitude.
So, you’ve heard it before
Yes, I am sure you’ve heard about gratitude before. You’ve written in your gratitude journal, you’ve listened to gratitude meditations, you’ve downloaded gratitude apps. But for some reason, you’ve lost it. This reason may be in how you’ve approached gratitude. I have a new approach I’d like you to try. Take 10 minutes, find a quiet place with stillness (even if it’s the closet; I parented two boys–I get it), and let’s get started.
Remember: your trip is a short one
In this peaceful spot, whether it’s in your closet or your bathroom, take a deep breath. Really feel the breath moving through your nose, throat, chest, and belly. That’s it.
Think to yourself your life’s course. Think about the first 10 years, then the next, then the next–up until you reach your current age. Notice how much life you’ve experienced, and then notice how much life you have left. This is what we are going to focus on, that life that’s left.
We oftentimes shy away from thinking about death, or the end of our physical lives. But I believe knowing this is key to developing gratitude and happiness. As you sit still, bring your attention to the things that have served you in this life. What has brought you joy. Experiences, people, places, things.
Now, bring your attention to the things that haven’t served you. They can be mental states of being, situations, relationships, choices, or other things entirely. You may find a lot of these things have been choices you’ve made, patterns you’ve been stuck in, or people you’ve held onto who didn’t treat you well.
Finally, note how long you have until your physical end. How much time is that? Does it feel like a lot? A little? Are you worried you aren’t using the rest of your time in the way you want? That’s okay, simply acknowledge that understanding and sit with it.
Let gratitude fill you up with intention
When we acknowledge our finite selves, we start to bring logic into play. If we want to be happy, we have a finite amount of time to experience that. And the key to unlock happiness is with gratitude.
From now until dead, what do you want to experience? Who do you want to be? What life do you want to live? Simply thinking about this brings you to a state of gratitude for still having the time to cultivate these wishes.
Let that intention bring you into happiness
The sooner we have gratitude for the time we have left in our physical bodies, the sooner we are able to experience happiness. Our bodies, and our existence as humans, are truly a miracle. So many things have had to go right for us to walk this earth. Any time you are feeling sad about your personal situation, go back to that peaceful place and repeat this ritual. The more we connect with our end, the more beautiful we can make our present moment.
Yearning for more?
Practicing and studying this ritual, with the help of working with a happiness coach like me, will support you on your journey towards happiness. In the end, trust that you have the answers within you. You simply may need someone to help you uncover them. I can help.
