Being grateful is something we always strive for. It’s that thing that hangs out in the back of our minds. We are aware of it, we know we need to practice it, but often at times we find ourselves just out of its grasp.
Why is that? Well, it usually comes from something deep within ourselves. Some habit we have built throughout the years to survive emotional or physical duress–or simply a habit we’ve cultivated to address mental boredom.
There are a few universal reasons why we find ourselves unable to practice gratitude. Here are a few:
1. Materialistic ideals and the ego
The ego is a strong entity, and it can keep us from living our most joyful lives. When the ego is in the front seat (commanding you to purchase that new purse because so and so has it), it encourages us to compare ourselves with others, to become materialistic and in the pursuit of more, and it keeps us in a scarcity mindset. Being materialistic (as in, owning the newest smartphone, even when yours works perfectly fine!) is so common today, it’s often overlooked. But it can be the blocker between you and living a grateful life.
2. Default Mode
It is so easy for us to go about our days, living without thinking. Have you ever gotten in your car, and suddenly, you’ve made it to your destination? That’s the default mode. When we aren’t living in the present moment, we are living a 
clouded reality. Living in a clouded reality means you are experiencing life mindlessly, without any thought put into what you’re doing. That hazy lifestyle leaves no room for joy, mindfulness, and gratitude.
3. Patterned Thinking
My most difficult reason! I’m sure I don’t speak for myself when I say it’s difficult to break free from my negative thought patterns. This is something that is so inherently detrimental to our mental health, and it robs us of the ability to live in gratitude. For example, I find that when I make a mistake, I constantly tell myself I’m not good enough and that others are far beyond me in skill. This robs me of being grateful for my skills and I know I am simply amazing at what I do.
4. Commitment Overload
When we are unable to say no, we take away from ourselves and fail to get our needs met. It’s difficult to live in gratitude when we have so many things to do on our plate! We shouldn’t have to pencil in gratitude. We should be able to create a life that makes ample room for gratitude within our hearts. I am always willing to lend a hand and sometimes I stretch myself too thin and burn out and crash.
5. Productivity Burnout
Living in a Western society, we are on the side of constant productivity. While that can produce many benefits, it can also keep us from living in the present moment. Being perpetually busy can lead to burnout, which results in not having the mental capacity to experience positive emotions, like gratitude. If we fit our 9 to 5, a side job, being the best classroom mom, cooking three-course meals, and being a doting wife into our days–we’re going to get burnt out.
What stops you from being grateful?
This is by no means an exhaustive list. It’s simply the start of your journey. It’s an energetic pulling of the weeds of your habits to unearth the good stuff: gratitude. There are reasons beyond these five for each of us.
Yearning for more?
Gratitude comes from a place deep within our hearts. Life is not about keeping up with the Joneses. It’s about having perspective, living with humility, and enjoying every aspect of this ride.
Awareness is the first step towards making real change in your life. If you’ve had an “ah ha” moment here today–I am so happy for you. I’d also encourage you to continue the work by moving into the contemplation stage where you’ll be able to consider the benefits of change and truly examine how change will affect your life.
I am a happiness coach dedicated to helping women like you get out of the ruts they find themselves in and into a high-vibrational flow state of happiness and joy. If you are looking to make a change towards a better, more fulfilling life for yourself, let’s chat (you can also find me on Instagram!).
