Menopause, as you may know, is a difficult time in a woman’s life. It’s filled with hormonal changes, weird side effects (hot flashes, galore!), and physical changes that can warp the way you view yourself.
While it’s definitely a difficult time, it’s also a time that allows you to reflect on your past years and gain insights you otherwise wouldn’t have gained.
As I’ve moved through my own experience with menopause, it’s caused me to get really clear about the amazing things in my life, the not-so-great things in my life, and the stuff I wish I knew before it was too late. And one of those things is the relationship I’ve had with fear throughout my life.
Maybe it’s the hormones?
Like the title says, maybe it’s the hormones, but there’s something about menopause that’s special. It provides us the emotional intelligence we need to know what we should have done 10, 15, 20 years ago. It’s the reality that we’re moving through life, into a stage that is closer to our wiser years. That reality allows us to see our life experiences in a new light–and for me, that has been really telling as it relates to the concept of fear.
Don’t let fear stop you
If there is one thing I’ve learned from analyzing my life’s choices, it’s to not let fear stop you. If you don’t do something because you fear the change that will come from it, you’ll still experience change–but that change will almost always be a negative one.
For example, I stayed in my marriage because I was scared of what my family and others would say. I stayed because I was afraid of being alone with no family around (they were all in the UK). I stayed until my kids were older because I thought they would be able to handle it better.
But, you know what? Others judgment is literally none of my business. I am perfectly capable of handling change without my family physically being around. And kids are resilient as all hell, and they might have been more receptive of the divorce had I done it when I knew I needed to. Oh, yeah, and experiencing both divorce and menopause years later was a real bitch.
Make a game plan to combat fear
Now that you’ve received my menopausal wisdom, let’s talk about solving the issue of fear in your life. Something that has helped me is to use my fear to my advantage. When I’m feeling fearful about something, I make a plan to overcome that feeling so that I actually make the change I’m fearful of!
What I do is try my best to eliminate all the guesswork out of what I’m about to do. That way, I eliminate as much fear-inducing stuff as I can, leaving room only for executing on the task and reaping the positive benefits. If that’s something you’re interested in doing, be sure to make a plan, be meticulous in your planning, and get outside help from a friend who has been where you are. This is all key to owning your life and moving forward and beyond your fear.
Get professional help when you need it
Don’t be fearful of getting professional help for menopause and your anxiety/fear–to get help is an absolute blessing! Whether that’s through a doctor, a therapist, a life coach (like me!), or a combination of all three (which is my recommendation)–you deserve the help you wish to have. I promise. Plus, don’t be like me. Learn from my mistakes and do what your heart tells you to do–exactly when it tells you to do it!
