META: We all love to strive for change, a chance to become the best versions of ourselves. But how do you know if this change is for the better?
Hey you,
It's Bhupi again, and I'm here to tell you it's time to get out of your comfort zone and start mixing things up in your life.
Did you go to bed last night telling yourself that tomorrow you're going to wake up and turn your life around?
This will be the final time. This time, you've got it down to a tee.
Yeah, we've all been there.
We've all had those thoughts before going to bed, only to wake up the next day and find that we're still in the same rut. Over the following week, the habits fall off, and you end up in those damn awful cycles once again.
But this begs the question that I, for one, have certainly overlooked time and time again.
How do you know when it's time for an actual change?
Maybe it's not the fact that you're 'failing' to turn your life around, but perhaps it's more likely the wrong time. What if changing everything at this point in your life is just not the right thing to do
Well, I've got five questions to help you figure out whether it's time to do something drastic, find balance, or calm down and stop being so crazy.
1 - Will it Make Me Happy?
The first question you should ask yourself is, "Will this change make me happy?" We all want to be happy, and if the change you're considering will bring happiness to your life, it's worth considering
But balance is key!
You can't go overboard in the pursuit of happiness. Otherwise, you'll end up unhappy. It's a weird set of emotional scales that you want to prop upright in the center.
So ask yourself, "Is this change something that will make me genuinely happy?" If the answer is yes, then it's worth considering.
Over the years, I've found that creating a vision board or book is one of the best ways to answer this question.
A vision book/board is a journal where you write down your dreams, values, and goals. It's where you can get creative and let your imagination run wild. Creating a vision book/board helped me to get clear on what I wanted out of life, which was a huge factor in figuring out major life-altering decisions.
And, for all you Bhupi insiders, my new Vision Book/Board Course is set to launch just after the New Year 2023. A lot of love has gone into this course, with every aspect designed to help you realize the exact life you want to live.
I've had so many requests about when I'm running the next workshop. Make sure you sign up for the newsletter, so you can be notified the minute the launch happens. It’s a very exciting time, and I can’t wait to show you everything it has to offer! Psst, the sign-up form is on every page of my site!
2 - Can This Change Help Me Reach My Goals?
We all have goals in life, whether it's to get a promotion at work, start your own business, get in shape or travel the world. And if the change you're considering can help you reach one of your goals, then it's worth considering.
For example, let's say your goal is to get in shape. And you're considering joining a new gym that's closer to your house. This change can help you reach your goal because it will make it easier for you to go to the gym and get in shape.
Of course, it can be a little more complicated than that. What if your goal is to get promoted at work? And the change you're considering is quitting your job and starting your own business.
It can help you slow down and look at your life goals.
Start by listing all the realistic goals you want to achieve in life. Then, divide them into short-term, medium, and long-term goals. A great way to do this is to get involved in my Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone course, which dives into this topic with a ton of actionable detail.
More of that later.
Once you’ve defined and prioritized your goals, you can start to see which changes can help you achieve your goals.
Then, and only then, can you take action?
This may force you to step out of your comfort zone, but if that's what it takes to make a change for the better, why not? All it takes is a positive attitude, patience, and a lot of self-love.
Also, remember, your goals can change. It's important to stay flexible, especially when you're setting new goals.
3 - Is This Change Something I Want?
It sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised how many people make changes in their lives that they don't actually want.
The thing is, we're programmed to try and always please as many people as we can. It’s in our biology to please the people around us because we want to fit in. Back in the day, that was essential for forming tribes and communities because our very survival depended on it.
However, in these modern days, we live; this can be dangerous.
It’s also so bloody exhausting.
Not only can we fall into the trap of trying to please everyone we come across (which is far more people than our ancestors would ever have met in their entire lives), but we don’t have that survival edge to define how much of ourselves we should give and to who.
This is where this question matters most.
Are you living your life?
- In the way you want, or are you doing things for others completely disregarding your boundaries?
- Are you being peer pressured into doing things you actually don’t want to, but you’re convincing yourself it's the right thing to do because you want to make these other people happy, even when you don’t owe them a cent, or should they be a priority in your life?
In other words, is the way you’re changing something you want or something someone else is telling you to want?
Think of it this way.
From a young age, we’re programmed and pressured by society, our parents, and the rest of the world to follow several steps;
Step 1
Finish high school with good grades. Teachers ensure we stay within the 90% + grades for assignments and exams. Parents and tutors bombard us with information saying we have to get into college and university, and we have to get the grades to get those amazing jobs.
Step 2
Go to college/university. Hey, I know you’re young and don’t really have a clue what’s out there or what you want to do, but you need to pick the career you’ll do for the rest of your life at the young age of 16.
Step 3
Once you get that degree, hang it on the wall, find a partner, get married, buy a house, and have kids, a dog, and all with that beautiful white picket fence.
Holy fuck. That's a lot for culture, society, and every tom, dick and harry to decide on our behalf.
From here, you better strive for every promotion, a bigger house, a more expensive car, one vacation a year, and you better be pleased about it
It's like we are bound by everyone else's expectations from the start.
It SUCKS.
I mean, buying a big house means that I have to clean it, and I absolutely loathe cleaning. I feel it takes too much of my precious time. So, why am I dedicating my life to buying one?
Of course, this mindset stretches out into all areas of your life. Your friends want you to act in certain ways. Your partner wants you to change your attitude towards something that breaks a boundary you know is the true you
Your boss wants you to spend more time away from your kids because they have a project they want to be completed.
If you change any aspect of your life, ensure it's for you and not to please someone else. It's your life, and no one should live it for you. This is one of the hardest things to change, start being selfish and start doing things for yourself
I’m not saying you can’t take criticism and improve based on the feedback from others. That’s essential
What I am saying is to take these on board, take time to think it through, and then decide whether it’s something you want to do for yourself or not.
4 - Will It Improve My Life?
In other words, will this change make your life better in some way?
This is an important question because we often make changes that make our lives worse.
Aha, I know. It sounds so counterproductive, but you know as well as I do that some changes we make for the right reason, and some changes we make for other reasons, but we tell ourselves they are for good reasons.
For example, let's say you're considering getting a new car. A new car will improve your life because it will be more reliable and get better gas mileage. But you'll take it out on credit, leaving you financially unstable for the next three years.
What's the better choice?
Probably to get a car that balances quality and performance with price. Not the ultra-expensive vehicle that's a little out of your price range.
So before you make any changes, ask yourself if it will improve your life somehow.
If the answer is no, then it's probably not worth considering. But if the answer is yes, well then, it's perhaps worth taking a closer look.
5 - Am I Letting Fear Hold Me Back?
Eeek. I know. This is the big one.
A lot of times, we don't make changes in our lives because we're afraid
Afraid of what might happen if we fail. Afraid of what other people will think of us. We're afraid of change itself.
All of this fear is natural. But it's important to remember that fear is just an emotion. It's not reality
Just because you're afraid of something doesn't mean it's actually going to happen. So don't let fear hold you back from making changes in your life.
There's nothing wrong with being afraid. But don't let your fears control your life.
Being afraid is natural, but letting fear control you isn't. We're all afraid of failing, of uncertainty, and a whole bunch of other stuff.
Yet, there's one thing that successful people do that others don't.
They don't let their fears take over their lives.
They learn how to face whatever it is that's giving those butterflies in their stomachs. Then, they take a deep breath and jump in.
Whether it's fear of public speaking or fear of heights, you have to muster some courage and go through with it, no matter what the outcome is. Once you're done, you'll come out the other side a stronger, more experienced individual.
Conclusion
Making changes in your life can be scary. But it's important to remember that change is often necessary.
Everyone goes through a wide array of changes in their lifetime. You can either join in and embrace all the good that change offers or stay behind.
If you choose the latter, you'll always be standing on the sidelines of life, always discontent, never fulfilled
Gail Sheehy said it best, "If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living.
That’s all from me today, but don’t forget that there are lots of exciting things happening here in the Bhupi world. Launching on Monday, 12th December 2022, my Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone hits the shelves
It’s my first online course ever, and there are so many beautiful things going on in it. I just know you’re going to love it. Click here to find out more, and see you there!
