Fear Only Lasts as Long as You Let It

You know that moment. You get an idea, a spark, a full body YES. It could be anything, a new job, a relationship, speaking up in a meeting, starting a business, quitting the job you hate, launching a passion project, jumping out of a plane (okay maybe not, but I’ve got plans), even booking that one-way ticket to somewhere sunny. Your heart races, you feel inspired and then bam.

That sneaky little voice creeps in and whispers:

• “But what if it goes wrong?”
• “What if I fail?”
• “What will people say?”

Enter FEAR. And suddenly, you're not moving forward anymore. You're spiralling. Overthinking. Distracting yourself with the washing up or rewatching Netflix. Maybe even pretending you never had the idea in the first place.

Sound familiar?

Yeah, me too. All of us, actually because fear is universal. It’s part of our human wiring. It wants to keep us safe, sure, but it also wants to keep us stuck.

And you know what, fear only lasts as long as you let it.

The Fear Loop

Let me show you how this often plays out:

I WANT to do this

But I’m SCARED

DO it scared!

This simple little flow chart changed everything for me. Because most of the time, we think we have to get rid of fear before we do the thing. But the magic only happens when you realise YOU DON’T.

You just bring fear along for the ride. Buckle it into the back seat with the dog, maybe give it a snack to keep it quiet, but don’t let it touch the wheel. Fear doesn’t get to drive.

Let Me Tell You a Story

As most of you know, I’ve been the Henna & Mandala Queen in the K-W Region (Ontario, Canada) since 2004. I’ve been drawing mandalas for years. Like, actual years. My sketchbooks were bursting. People saw them and kept saying, “You should publish a colouring book!” And I’d smile, nod, maybe even half-pretend I was working on it. But truthfully? I wasn’t. I didn’t dare.

Because my brain had other ideas:

• Who are you to publish a book?
• No one’s going to buy it
• What if people hate it?

And then the real-world commentary started rolling in, not just from one person, but loads of well-meaning but opinionated friends. I hadn’t even told my family. With so much negativity floating around, I started to absorb it. I started believing it myself.

• “Aren’t there already loads of colouring books out there?”
• “What makes yours different?”
• “Why would people buy yours when they could go to £ or $ shops and grab one for cheap?”

And to be fair… those are great questions.

So, I let the fear win. I faffed about for years. YEARS. Convinced myself I was “preparing” or “waiting for the right time” (there is no right time). And then something shifted. I was in the middle of a 3-week personal development course and a fire lit up in me. I thought, what if I just do it scared?

When people ask now, “What makes your book different?” I tell them this:

Yes, there are loads of colouring books. But mine? It isn’t just a colouring book. It’s a mindful experience, soaked in love and dedication. Each mandala comes with its own explanation, a little message, a pause to reflect or breathe. It nudges you to think outside the box, to calm your racing mind, to let your spirit play.

Colouring books are just that, books for colouring. This one is a guide for mindfulness, creativity and emotional reset. It’s like giving your nervous system an absolutely fabulous luxurious bubble bath with candles, music and sprinkles of magic and imaginary glitter. (I don't use actual glitter as its really toxic for the environment)

A New Beginning

Then something big happened. I moved back to London, England into my childhood home not with just one suitcase, but with boxes of my precious belongings shipped across the ocean. Most importantly, I brought my younger son with me, along with my beloved Samosa and Kajal. It wasn’t just a move, it was a declaration. A new beginning. A fresh start. A spark of hope after what felt like years of standing still.

Everything was uncertain. The job market was unwelcoming. The system had red tape longer than my to-do list. But somewhere in the chaos, something stirred inside me. If I could move countries, start over, rebuild a life, then surely, I could publish a colouring book.

And you know what finally gave me the courage?

My older son. It’s his birthday on 18th July. He’s an artist through and through. He’s been sketching beautiful cards for me, filling notebooks with his creativity since he was little. I thought, how amazing would it be to launch this on his birthday? To make it something memorable, something full of love and meaning?

So I did it. I self-published the book on Amazon with a release date of 18th July. Not because I wasn’t scared anymore, but because I chose to do it scared. (It's still in the review process, so watch this space. As soon as its ready to purchase, I will add a link on the website, social media posts and newsletter!)

And that, my friend, is the whole point.

Fear Is a Master of Disguise

Here’s the thing. Fear doesn’t always show up wearing a name tag. Sometimes it wears a fake moustache and calls itself:

• Perfectionism
• Procrastination
• Just not the right time

And then you convince yourself:

• “I’m just not ready yet”
• “I need to research a bit more”
• “I don’t have time right now”
• “I just need one more course, then I’ll be qualified and qualified and qualified”

Sound familiar?

That business you’ve been thinking of launching. That career change. That honest conversation. That solo trip. Fear has got its sticky fingers in all of it.

I’ve seen this over and over again, not just in myself, but in the women I coach and the friends I’ve known for decades. We think we’re waiting for readiness, but really we’re being held hostage by fear dressed as productivity.

I had a client once who said she’d love to start her own event planning business, but she kept putting it off. She said she needed to “get more experience”. She’d already run seven successful events. She didn’t need more experience. She needed to face her fear.

And when she finally admitted she was scared people would judge her or that she might not make money, something shifted. She stopped waiting. She launched. Clients came. It wasn’t perfect, but it was real.

Fear Is a Liar

Fear loves to tell stories. Dramatic ones.

Fear will say:

• “If you do this, you’ll fail”
• “Everyone will laugh at you”
• “You’ll lose everything”
• “No one cares”

Honestly, fear deserves an Oscar. But most of the time, the absolute worst-case scenario it’s something you can totally handle.

And the best-case scenario? That’s usually way better than you imagined.

When I came back to the London, it wasn’t easy. I was blocked from jobs because of a three-year residency rule. I had to start from scratch, emotionally exhausted and mentally drained. But out of all that came clarity. Courage. A sense of self. Creating the book  and writing this blog is part of that healing process.

Do It Scared

Here’s the truth no one wants to admit, most of the things we’re proud of, we did while terrified.

• First kiss. Scary.
• Job interview. Terrifying.
• Speaking on stage. Fear-inducing.
• Starting again after divorce. Don’t even get me started.
• Telling the truth even when it hurt. Shaking in my shoes.

You don’t wait for fear to vanish. You act while it’s still there, gnawing at your knees. And the more you do, the smaller it gets.

Confidence is a side effect of action. Confidence grows from doing, not waiting.

Real Life, Real Fear, Real Wins

You know that one friend who seems to have it all figured out, amazing job, glowing skin, perfect Instagram life?

They were scared too. Trust me. They just didn’t let fear run the show.

I’ve worked with women who left toxic marriages, started over with nothing but their passports and dreams. I’ve watched mums launch businesses after years of raising kids. I’ve seen women in their 60s start painting, performing, even paragliding.

None of them felt ready. But they did it anyway.

You don’t need anyone’s permission. You just need a little courage and a decision to act.

Want to Get Uncomfortable (on Purpose)?

If you’re nodding along, heart pounding a little, thinking “This is me” then come with me.

I created a course: “How to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone in 4 Weeks”.

It’s not just another course with cute quotes and worksheets you forget to do.

It’s your weekly dose of real talk, action steps, mini challenges and powerful mindset shifts that will help you:

• Understand your comfort zone and why you’re stuck in it
• Rewire the stories fear tells you
• Build habits that support courage, not comfort
• Learn to do the things scared, and still show up

I use humour, stories, reflection, and a nudge (okay, sometimes an absolutely humongous loving shove) to move you from thinking to doing. (It will be published in July.) Watch this space and my social media feeds.

Because this life? It’s not a rehearsal.

Don’t let fear keep you sitting on dreams that are begging to come to life.

Write the blog. Launch the business. Call the therapist. Take the class. Book the retreat. Hit publish on the project you’ve been hiding in your heart.

You’ll be scared. Of course you will.

Do it scared anyway.

Because FEAR ONLY LASTS AS LONG AS YOU LET IT!

The I AM Collection – Mindful Mandalas will be available on Amazon worldwide and Get Out of Your Comfort Zone in 4 Weeks will be launching online as well.

Watch this space, sign up for my newsletter or follow me on social media so you don’t miss a thing!