Silence & Smile: The Dynamic Duo of Everyday Peace  

You’ve probably heard the quote:

“Silence and smile are two powerful tools. Smile is the way to solve many problems, and silence is the way to avoid many problems.” 

Sounds poetic, right? But let’s be honest, if you’re living with hormonal teenagers, working in customer service, dealing with your ex, or just navigating life as a human being in 2025… then silence and smiling can feel like Olympic-level acts of self-restraint.

But stick with me. These two simple tools might just be the superhero cape you didn’t know you had hanging in your emotional wardrobe. Let’s unpack why.

SILENCE: The Unsung Hero of Inner Peace (and Self-Defence)

 Let’s start with silence. Ah yes, SILENCE. That sacred pause. That deep breath before the reply. That not saying the thing you're absolutely dying to say because it’ll just set the whole bloody house on fire.

Fight with a Spouse or Partner

You know the one. The classic "Well, if you’d actually listened to what I said before..." scenario.

Your partner says something infuriating. You feel your jaw tighten. Your hands clench. And there it is, the perfect comeback dancing on your tongue, ready to fly out like a heat-seeking missile.

But you choose silence. You breathe. You walk away. You go make a cup of tea. Because let’s be real: a clever comeback might feel good in the moment, but cleaning up the emotional shrapnel for the next three days, weeks or months? Not worth it.

But then comes the taunting…

This is when it gets tricky. The silence should de-escalate the situation, but instead, your partner doubles down.

• “What, cat got your tongue now?”
• “You can chat to your friends for hours, but the minute I ask you something, you go mute.”
• “You ever gonna answer the damn question?”
• “Oh, now you’re playing the ‘zen and peaceful’ card? Seriously?”
• “Don’t think your silence makes you clever. It just makes you avoidant.”

Sound familiar?

They’re poking the bear, trying to get a rise out of you. And you feel your inner volcano bubbling. But still, you choose silence. Because here’s the truth:

Not every question deserves an answer. Not every comment needs a response. Not every moment is the time to fight.

Sometimes, silence is your boundary. It’s you saying, “I’m not emotionally available for this nonsense right now.”

When You Know You're Dealing With a Narcissist…

This is where silence becomes more than a mindfulness practice, it becomes a survival skill. Because when the other person is a complete and utter narcissist, you need to know this:

• They will TWIST your WORDS.
• They will GASLIGHT you until you start questioning REALITY.
• They’ll MANIPULATE conversations so much, you’ll start to think their idea was YOURS
• They will DRAIN your CONFIDENCE so slowly and so slyly, you won’t even notice until you're DOUBTING everything about yourself.

You’ll start thinking, “Maybe I am overreacting…”

You’ll APOLOGISE for things you didn’t do.

You’ll feel like you’re LOSING your GRIP, like you’re going MAD.

And worst of all? You’ll start SHRINKING.

Your VOICE, your OPINIONS, your GUT INSTINCT, it all gets QUIETER and SMALLER… until you’re WALKING on EGGSHELLS in your own LIFE.

Everyday Narcissism in Disguise

Here’s how it sneaks in behind the scenes:

• You arrange phone catch-up’s with friends only when he’s not home. Why? Because he gets moody or mocks you if he hears you laughing. Maybe he rolls his eyes or sulks after you hang up. That, my friend, is jealousy in disguise. Because he can’t make you feel that way anymore, light, joyful, carefree, and that threatens his control.
• You make plans to meet friends or go away for your annual girls weekend. You put it in the calendar. It’s been there for weeks or months, but the day before, he says, “You never told me about this.”
  • You reply, “It’s been in the calendar.”
  • He snaps, “I don’t check the calendar. Who’s supposed to make dinner then? Who’s looking after the kids?” He feels, looking after YOUR kids is BABYSITTING but in actual fact its called PARENTING!

 Ah. There it is. Not concern, CONTROL.

Because heaven forbid you make independent plans, have your own life, or god forbid, experience joy without him.

They don’t say, “I’m so happy you’re seeing your friends.”

They say, “Well, I guess I’ll just sit here alone while you go out enjoying yourself.”

They mask it as GUILT. Responsibility. “Family priorities.”

But the real message is: “You’re not allowed to be free without my permission.”

Let’s Call It What It Is

If someone is constantly making you feel like:

• You’re selfish for having a social life
• You have to explain your laughter
• You’re irresponsible for taking time for yourself
• You’re “disrespectful” for making plans without asking …it’s not love. It’s control.

And your silence? That’s your PROTECTION.

Because if you say something, they’ll twist it. If you fight back, you’re "aggressive." If you cry, you’re "emotional." If you smile, you’re "mocking."

There’s no winning their game, so don’t play it.

SILENT REBELLION: CHOOSING YOURSELF

Your silence isn’t AGREEMENT.

It’s not SURENDER.

It’s a quiet REBELLION.

You are choosing to STOP the spin.

To END the loop of GASLIGHTING, circular ARGUMENTS, and EMOTIONAL drain.

You’re choosing STILLNESS, so you can hear YOURSELF again.

Because manipulation doesn’t always look like yelling.

Sometimes, it looks like:

• Eye rolls
• Withholding affection
• Guilt-tripping
• Calendar ambushes
• Questioning your memory
• Undermining your friendships

And slowly, that erodes your FREEDOM, your VOICE, your SPARKLE.

But with silence, you take a SACRED PAUSE, and in that pause, you remember who the hell you are.

You RECLAIM your time.

You RECONNECT with joy.And you RISE, quietly, beautifully, and unbothered.

HORMONAL TEENAGERS: The Ultimate Test

If you've got teenagers in the house, you already know you're on sacred battlegrounds. One minute they love you, the next you're the literal worst human who ever lived because you dared to ask if they brushed their teeth or completed their homework!

They come home in a foul mood. Slam the door. Grunt instead of talk. You ask a basic question, and somehow it becomes a courtroom drama where you're the villain.

The Classic Teenage Explosion

"Why do you always assume I’m lying? You don’t trust me! You treat me like I’m five!"

...over asking what time they’ll be home.

You could shout. You could match their energy. OR, you could go silent.

You could smile and say, “I’ll be in the kitchen when you’re ready to talk like a human.”

MIC DROP! PEACE kept. SANITY intact.

SILENCE in Public Arguments

Ever had a stranger snap at you in the queue? Or had a Karen accuse you of “skipping” when you were literally just trying to tie your shoelace near the till?

Arguing with strangers is like wrestling pigs in mud, you both get dirty, but only one of you enjoys it.

Silence here is POWERFUL. Smile, nod, and carry on. It infuriates people looking for a fight. You're denying them the fuel. You're not ignoring, you're protecting your peace. Massive difference.

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT SMILING

Smiling is not about pretending everything’s FINE when it’s not. It’s about SHIFTING the energy, even slightly.

It’s a RESET button. A signal that says, “I’m open to peace.” And sometimes, it's the olive branch that keeps things from escalating.

The Passive-Aggressive Auntie

 Auntie: “Oh, you're still single? Don’t worry, someone will take you eventually…”

You: SMILE.

Smile like you know something she doesn’t.

Smile like you're thriving, even if you're wearing mismatched socks and living on toast.

That smile says: “Your JUDGEMENT isn’t my truth.” And it throws people right off.

The Nightmare Colleague

They take credit for your work. They stir drama. They eat your labelled lunch from the fridge. Your instinct? Confrontation with a side of sarcasm.

But instead? You smile. You say, “Thanks for your input, I’ve already handled it.”

 You walk away, knowing full well that the universe (and possibly HR) is watching.

SMILE AT BABIES. SMILE AT DOGS. SMILE AT LIFE.

Not every smile needs to be strategic. Sometimes you SMILE  just because life’s too SHORT not to.

Smile when you see your dog’s tail wagging like a metronome on steroids.

Smile when your kid finally remembers to put the milk back in the fridge.

Smile when the sun comes out for 15 minutes in the middle of a British summer.

These moments are tiny joy-gems in the chaos.

SMILE + SILENCE = MAGIC

The real power lies in the combo move.

Smile while you’re silent.

Try it during an argument. Try it at work. Try it when someone’s being ridiculous.

Because this combo does three things:

• CONFUSES your opponent (Are they okay? Are they plotting revenge? Why are they smiling?!)
• Protects your PEACE (No one can drag you into drama without your permission)
• Shifts your ENERGY from reactive to RESILIENT.

Here’s a Cheeky Little Challenge

Next time you:

• Get cut off in traffic
• Receive a snarky comment from a family member
• Feel the urge to reply to that WhatsApp in ALL CAPS…

PAUSE.

SMILE.

Stay SILENT.

Or if you must reply, do it later, when the emotional volcano isn’t erupting.

The Mindfulness Bit

Silence and smile aren’t about suppressing your emotions. They’re about REGULATING them.

They create a PAUSE, and in that pause is where you choose your power.

Silence lets you OBSERVE.

Smiling RESETS the nervous system.

And both together? That’s EMOTIONAL HARMONY.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not a Doormat, You’re a Jedi

Let’s be clear. This isn’t about being a pushover or smiling through abuse. Silence and smile aren’t shields to hide behind, they’re tools to help you navigate the everyday drama with dignity.

Because life will throw tantrums. People will test you. Hormones (yours and others’) will run riot.

But with SILENCE and SMILE in your TOOLKIT, you become the eye of the storm, calm, collected, and gloriously unbothered.

So go ahead.

Smile MORE.

Speak LESS.

And let the world wonder how you stay so damn PEACEFUL.

Over to you…

Have you ever held your tongue and felt like a boss? Or smiled in the face of chaos just to protect your energy?

Drop a comment below, or better yet, silently smile at your screen right now. I’ll feel it. ?