Ah, menopause and brain fog—the ultimate power couple no one signed up for. It’s like your brain suddenly decided to take a gap year, leaving you to fend for yourself. One moment, you’re on top of everything; the next, you’re staring blankly into the fridge, wondering if you were looking for milk or just having a moment. And let’s not forget the pot of rice, left on the hob to morph into a starchy mess while you try to remember if you locked the front door. Spoiler: you didn’t.
The Great Phone Hunt: A Real-Life Brain Fog Blunder
This really happened. I put the pup, Samosa, in the car along with everything else I’d need for the day. Then, I realised I had no idea where my phone was. I pinged it, got my son to call it, looked under the car—nothing. Google kept insisting it was at home, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. After wasting over an hour searching, I decided to just get on with my day. I loaded Samosa into the car, sat down, and there it was: my phone. Sitting snug in its holder. I didn’t spot it because the holder’s black, and so is the phone cover. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry, but in the end, I laughed. I mean, spending an hour and a half searching for something right in front of me? Classic brain fog moment!
Forgetting Why You Walked into a Room... Again
I usually forget why I’ve walked into a room, but if an ‘80s track plays, I remember every single lyric. I don’t even know which part of the brain stores that, but it’s clearly working overtime while the rest of my cognitive functions are napping. Walk into the kitchen for a cup of tea? Forgotten. Hear Take On Me by A-ha? Instant karaoke. Priorities, I suppose.
The Safe Place Mystery
Then there’s the infamous “safe place” trick. You know, when you put something somewhere “safe” so you won’t lose it, only to promptly forget where that is. The item doesn’t resurface until you’re moving house and suddenly—light bulb moment—you remember stashing it in a completely illogical spot. Like that time I found my passport in a box labelled Christmas Decorations. Safe? Sure. Sensible? Not quite.
The Name Game
Forgetting names is another classic. I’m awful at it. Faces? No problem. I’ll remember the details of someone’s outfit from two years ago, but their name? Gone. It’s like my brain deletes that file the moment they introduce themselves. I’ve developed a strategy of enthusiastically saying, “Oh hey, you!” until the name eventually clicks—usually hours after the conversation.
What’s Really Going On Up There?
Brain fog isn’t just an excuse for losing your keys (again). It’s a genuine phenomenon that plagues two-thirds of women during menopause. Blame it on fluctuating oestrogen levels, which wreak havoc on the hippocampus—the part of the brain responsible for memory. It’s not dementia; it’s just your brain deciding it needs a tea break.
But let’s be fair. Men, it’s your turn to share the spotlight. As testosterone levels decline, many men experience similar brain fog moments. Misplacing glasses, forgetting names, or walking into a room and wondering why—it’s all part of the andropause experience. Hormones don’t discriminate, and neither does forgetfulness.
A Hormonal Storm in a Teacup
For women, the cocktail of symptoms comes courtesy of oestrogen and serotonin dips. The result? Muddled words, lost items, and a foggy head. For men, it’s testosterone playing games with cortisol, the stress hormone. So while women are misplacing their phones, men are wandering around looking for their specs—both utterly convinced the universe is conspiring against them.
Stress and poor sleep only make things worse. Who can consolidate memories between 2 and 4 a.m. when you’re tossing and turning, drenched in sweat from a hot flash or tangled in existential dread? No wonder mornings feel like wading through maple syrup.
Lifestyle Changes: The Fog-Busting Toolkit
Thankfully, all is not lost (except maybe your phone, keys, and dignity during that last brain fog moment). Here’s how to cut through the mental mist and reclaim your clarity:
Sleep First – Recharge Like a Pro
Think of sleep as your brain’s overnight cleaning crew, tidying up all the chaos from the day. Without it, your brain is like a cluttered desk—you can’t find anything! So, treat yourself like royalty: dim the lights, banish screens, and create a bedtime routine worthy of a spa retreat. Lavender spray on the pillow? Yes, please. Who knew counting sheep could feel so luxurious?
Feed Your Brain – Snack Like a Genius
Skip the biscuits and opt for brain fuel! Think nuts, berries, and dark chocolate (yes, chocolate!). Omega-3-rich foods like salmon, chia seeds, and walnuts are like a brain power-up. And don’t forget potassium-packed bananas—they're basically nature's energy bars. Remember, a well-fed brain is a happy brain. Bonus points if you feel a bit smug munching on kale while others reach for crisps.
Get Moving – Dance Like Nobody’s Watching
You don’t have to run marathons to clear your head—just move! Whether it's a brisk walk, a spontaneous kitchen dance-off, or pretending to be Beyoncé during a Zumba class, exercise gets your blood pumping and brain firing. Plus, endorphins are nature’s mood boosters, and who can resist a good groove when Uptown Funk comes on? You’ll forget you ever misplaced those keys (well, at least for a little while).
Slow Down – Multitasking Is a Myth
Ever tried juggling five things at once and ended up doing none of them? Same. Instead, embrace the art of single-tasking. Make lists, tick things off one by one, and take mental breaks like a pro. Treat it like a game: one task, one gold star. Before you know it, you’ll be smashing through your to-do list with the grace of someone who definitely didn’t just forget their own name at the school gate.
Laugh More – The Ultimate Brain Reset
When all else fails, laughter truly is the best medicine. Watch a silly cat video, swap ridiculous stories with friends, or just laugh at your own brain fog mishaps. Like the time you poured orange juice in your cereal? Classic! Laughter lightens the load, reduces stress, and clears the fog faster than a surprise cup of coffee.
Hydrate – The Ultimate Brain Booster
Brain fog thrives in a dehydrated brain. Keep a funky water bottle handy, preferably one with a motivational message like “Drink Me” or “You’re 70% Water, Act Like It!” Infuse your water with lemon, mint, or cucumber for a posh twist. Feeling fancy? Sip it out of a wine glass and pretend it’s the elixir of clarity.
Power Naps – Like a Smartphone Reset for Your Brain
Feeling frazzled? Take a 20-minute nap! It’s like hitting the reset button on your brain. Just enough time to refresh without waking up feeling like you’ve time-travelled to another dimension. Bonus points if you have a cosy blanket and a "Do Not Disturb" sign for peak nap vibes.
With these fun (and slightly cheeky) lifestyle changes, you’ll be tackling that brain fog head-on. And if all else fails? Just remember, your phone’s probably in the car holder.
Men & Brain Fog: Not Just a Women’s Issue
Men’s brains go foggy too. Andropause, thyroid issues, dehydration, or vitamin deficiencies can lead to cognitive blips. The good news? The solutions are similar: sleep well, eat healthily, exercise, and take breaks. If the fog persists, see a healthcare provider. Men’s brain fog might not get as much press, but it’s just as real—and equally solvable.
Can’t Find Your Glasses? Check Your Head
How many times have you been frantically searching for your glasses, only to discover they’re perched on your head? Yep, been there. Or how about losing your keys and finding them in the fridge? Hormonal brain fog turns everyday life into a treasure hunt, and sometimes the treasures are hilariously misplaced.
A New Era of Awareness
We’re the first generation to work long hours in front of screens, compounding our mental fatigue. Eye strain and cognitive overload become our new normal, and we accept it without question. But we don’t have to. By recognising the signs of brain fog and taking proactive steps, we can reclaim clarity and vitality.
Final Thought: Laugh Through the Fog
Whether you’re searching for your phone for an hour only to find it in its holder, forgetting why you entered the room, or losing your glasses while wearing them, menopause (and andropause) brain fog can be hilariously frustrating. But if you can laugh at it, you’re already winning. After all, isn’t laughter the best medicine?
