In the vast expanse of self-care and mental well-being, the trendy mantra of "cutting people off" reverberates through the air. Social media feeds are inundated with posts urging us to bid farewell to toxic relationships, negative influences, and anything else that might stunt our personal growth. Yeah, guilty as charged, I've shared a few of those myself.
But what about the flip side of the coin? What about the uncharted terrain of grief that comes with standing firm on the decision to cut ties – the emotional toll, the nagging doubts, and the bittersweet taste of necessary yet painful choices? Today, let's spice up this often-overlooked aspect and explore the unspoken grief that accompanies the act of severing connections.
The Prelude to Cutting Ties:
Imagine this: you, in a dramatic slow-motion moment, realizing that your relationship, be it a friendship, family, or romantic entanglement, is like a bad Netflix series – it's time to cancel as it no longer serves your best interests. The decision to cut ties is often portrayed as a bold and empowering move, but what about the emotional turbulence that precedes it? The doubt, the guilt, and the internal struggle are all part of the prelude to cutting ties.
The Dance of Doubt:
As doubt takes the stage, it's time to cha-cha with your insecurities. Left foot, right foot – the rhythm of uncertainty is both awkward and strangely exhilarating. You're caught in the dance of doubt, twirling between decisions and second-guessing your every move. Questions like "Am I making the right choice?" and "What if things could be different?" perform a relentless tango in your mind. It's a dance-off with your fears, regrets, but winning means giving yourself the confidence to bust a move towards self-love, even if it means disappointing others.
Guilt: The Uninvited Guest:
Guilt crashes the party like that friend who always brings drama. It's the uninvited guest at the farewell bash, wearing a neon sign that says, "Remember the good times?" Guilt whispers in your ear, reminding you of shared memories, laughter, that inside joke you shared, and the time you almost got matching tattoos. But guess what? You're the bouncer, and it's time to escort guilt out the door. Guilt is an integral part of the grieving process.
The Funeral of Expectations:
Cutting ties is like attending the funeral of expectations, complete with a playlist of heartbreak anthems. It's time to say goodbye to the fantasies, the dreams, and the shared Spotify playlists. As you mourn the loss of what could have been, don't forget to toss some confetti on the grave – because it's a celebration of new beginnings and endless possibilities!
The Silence After the Storm:
After the storm of emotions, there's a peculiar silence. The storm of emotions may have passed, but now you're left in the aftermath, grappling with a void. The sudden absence of someone who played a significant role in your life creates an echo of emptiness. The silence is your cue to regroup, rediscover your groove, make some adjustments, and start a new playlist for the next chapter. It's your time to shine, and the stage is all yours.
The Unspoken Grief:
The grief that follows cutting ties is often unspoken. Society applauds the courage it takes to sever connections deemed toxic, but rarely acknowledges the emotional aftermath. It's not about reveling in newfound freedom; it's about navigating the void left behind. The unspoken grief is about acknowledging the pain, understanding the healing process, and giving yourself permission to mourn the loss.
Personal Note:
I've personally been on the cutting ties bandwagon, bidding farewell to gossipmongers within my family and friends because, let's face it, I couldn't deal with their BS anymore. Surprisingly, those snips didn't hurt. The real sting came when toxic people entered my life at a time of significant changes, becoming a major part of my journey. I loved them, and cutting ties with them still feels like a punch in the gut. The memories made with them are etched deep, and the ache lingers. Even though I’m still grieving some of those ties, I know the decisions I made were for the better and I couldn’t let a narcissist and control freak back into my life!
Healing and Moving Forward:
And just as every storm eventually clears, the grief that accompanies cutting ties is a necessary part of the healing process. It's crucial to allow yourself the time and space to grieve, reflect, and grow. Seek support from friends, engage in self-care activities, and focus on rebuilding a stronger, healthier version of yourself.
To conclude, cutting ties might have its challenges, one that comes with the unspoken grief. It's essential to recognize the emotional toll it takes and to approach the process with compassion for yourself. By acknowledging the doubts, confronting the guilt, and mourning the loss of expectations, you pave the way for healing and personal growth. Remember, it's okay to grieve the end of a chapter – it's a testament to the depth of your connections and the strength it took to prioritize your well-being.
Through the grieving and healing process remember why you cut ties and you will be able to put one step in front of the other and dance your way through!
