Who would have thought that I would have to restart my life from scratch in my 50s? Initially, I was beyond pissed at the universe. I mean, come on! I had my life all planned out – marriage, kids, a dog, a picturesque house with the perfect family. It was like my own Bollywood movie playing in my head. But alas, reality doesn't always follow our scripts or dance to our tunes.
Divorce, separation, and other unexpected life events can throw us off balance and make us question everything. Why was a question I asked myself a lot during those turbulent times? Why did my life have to take this detour? Why was I being dealt this hand so late in the game? But you know what? Once I took a deep breath and ingested a tablespoon of my own advice – “Everything happens for a reason, and the universe has something amazing planned for me” – I embraced it like a warm blanket on a cool Autumn evening.
The truth is age is just a number. Society often puts this invisible expiration date on when we should have our lives together, but in reality, it's all nonsense. Life doesn't end at 30, 40, or even 50. In fact, it can open up new chapters and possibilities that we never even dreamed of.
So there I was, in my 50's, starting fresh. And let me tell you, it wasn't easy. Going through a separation at any age can be emotionally draining, but when you add a few decades to the mix, it's like navigating uncharted territory. However, I was determined to make the most of it.
I decided to use those lemons life handed me and make gallons and gallons of lemonade. If life was going to throw me curveballs, I was going to learn to swing and hit them out of the park. It was time to turn this unexpected chapter into a story of resilience, strength, and be myself.
First and foremost, let's talk about divorce or separation. It's not the end of the world, even though it may feel like it. People change, circumstances change, and sometimes, we grow apart from our partners. It's painful, no doubt, but it can also be liberating. Think about all the compromises you made in your marriage – now, you get to reclaim your individuality and do things your way.
For me, that meant rediscovering my passions and exploring new ones. The age-old question for me was; where do I meet people my own age? In London, it would have been pubs or bars but Canada has a very different social circle. So, I joined the rec rowing team, and it turned out to be an amazing decision. Rowing with the "Jolly Rogers" was an absolute blast, and I met so many wonderful people. I caught a crab every now and again, we laughed, rowed, and even grabbed dinner and a drink or two after practice. It was such a fantastic experience that I've already signed up for the next season because, well, it was so much fun! Age truly didn't matter when we were out there on the water, pursuing what we loved.
Menopause has been with me for a while now and – oh, the joys of hormonal rollercoasters. But I refused to let it define me or make me feel like my worth was fading away with each hot flash. Menopause is a natural phase of life, and I embraced it as a symbol of wisdom and experience. Initially, it shook me to the core. Having teens and a mum all going through hormones – well you can imagine, it was definitely not a pretty picture.
Sure, there were days when I wanted to scream at the universe for these sudden mood swings, but I learned to laugh it off and joke about it. Humour is a powerful coping mechanism, and sass became my trusty sidekick. When someone commented on my mood swings, I would wink and say, "Just adjusting my thermostat!"
Now, let's talk about the benefits of aging. Yes, you heard that right. Aging brings with it a wealth of experiences and a "been there, done that" attitude that is pretty darn cool. You become more resilient and less concerned about what others think. You start living life for yourself, not to meet society's expectations.
I embraced the concept of "use the lemons and make lots and lots of lemonade" quite literally too. I started making my own kombucha and water kefir. Not only were they delicious and refreshing, but they also gave me a sense of accomplishment. Brewing my own fermented drinks became a metaphor for life – it takes time, patience, and a little trial and error, but the end result is so worth it.
Another lesson I learned on this journey was to always look for the positive in every negative situation. It's not about ignoring the pain or pretending everything is fine when it's not. It's about acknowledging the challenges and choosing to find the silver lining.
After my separation, I found solace in connecting with other individuals who had similar experiences. We formed a support group where we shared stories, tears, and laughter. These amazing individuals are family, and our bond was stronger than any blood ties.
And let me tell you, being part of a group that has collectively experienced life's ups and downs is an empowering feeling. We navigated menopause together, with each of us bringing humour and sass to the table. We are the "Sassy Survivors," and we own it.
Life doesn't always go according to plan, but that doesn't mean it can't be beautiful, fulfilling, and even a bit sassy. Embrace the unexpected and remember that age is just a number. You have the power to rewrite your story, no matter how many chapters have come before.
So, to all my fellow menopausal, divorced, separated, or simply fabulous individuals out there – raise a glass of lemonade, kombucha, or water kefir, and let's toast to the adventure that is life. Let's add some sass to every step we take and remember that we are the authors of our own stories. Cheers to embracing life's twists and turns with a whole lot of zest!
As your happiness coach, I'm here to support you through the rollercoaster of separation or divorce, or menopause. Going through this tumultuous phase in life can be emotionally draining and overwhelming, but remember, you don't have to face it alone. Let's have a heartfelt conversation about your feelings, fears, and hopes. I'll provide a non-judgmental space where you can express yourself freely.
First and foremost, I want you to know that it's okay to feel the way you do. The range of emotions you might experience during this time is perfectly normal – from anger and sadness to confusion and even relief. Divorce or separation is a significant life change, and it's natural to go through ups and downs.
Together, we'll navigate the choppy waters of uncertainty and find ways to rebuild your life on your terms. While it might feel like your world has turned upside down, I firmly believe that every ending marks the beginning of something new and better. We'll focus on embracing those changes and looking for the silver lining amidst the storm.
I'll help you discover your inner strength and resilience. We'll explore your passions and interests, giving you a chance to rediscover yourself and the things that truly bring you joy. Whether it's revisiting old hobbies or exploring new ones, these activities can act as stepping stones towards healing and personal growth.
It's essential to take care of yourself during this time of transition. Self-care isn't just a buzzword; it's a lifeline that can help you stay afloat in rough seas. We'll work together to create a self-care plan that suits your needs and lifestyle. From engaging in relaxation techniques to incorporating mindful practices, we'll find what works best for you.
As we journey through this challenging period, I'll provide practical tools and strategies to cope with stress, anxiety, and any negative thoughts that may arise. Challenging moments can also be opportunities for growth, and I'll encourage you to see this phase as a chance to redefine your path and set new, empowering goals for yourself.
Additionally, if you're concerned about meeting new people or building connections after separation or divorce, I can help with that too. Whether it's finding social groups, joining clubs, or engaging in community activities, there are plenty of avenues to meet like-minded individuals who share your interests.
Remember, you don't have to let the past define your future. While it's essential to acknowledge and process your emotions, dwelling on the past can hinder your progress towards a happier and more fulfilling life. I'll be your cheerleader, nudging you forward and celebrating every small step you take towards personal growth and positive change.
Through our coaching sessions, you'll gain clarity, confidence, and a renewed sense of purpose. No matter how stormy the seas may seem right now, we'll work together to navigate through the turbulence and find calmer waters. Your happiness and well-being are my top priorities, and I'm committed to helping you thrive in this new chapter of your life.
So, if you're ready to embark on this transformative journey, let's talk. Reach out, and together, we'll empower you to rise above the challenges and embrace the opportunities that lie ahead. Remember, you're not alone, and there is a brighter, happier future waiting for you.
